You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
