Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
