On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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