I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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