Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize