There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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