went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
