I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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