your room smells of hookers.
And success
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I could make wine with my vomit
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
