I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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