ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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