You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So much rum. So many feels.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
