Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
