Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
3pm strippers are depressing
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
