wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
