ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
