Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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