Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
