"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
