the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
