when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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