this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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