i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
