how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
