doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
