I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
