She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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