It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In America we eat man semen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
