I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just had sex on a roof
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
