There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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