A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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