No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm both gender and math confused
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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