Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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