its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
