dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
