i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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