EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize