U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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