Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
