I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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