best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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