Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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