I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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