you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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