Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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