Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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