I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
