It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
