Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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