Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
