Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
