Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
