I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
