last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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