Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
