Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You took a bar mat shot.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
