the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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