I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
