Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My cat gives me a boner
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
