think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
