oh god the rape fog is back!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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